Friday, 13 December 2013

Set Chain-Axes to (stun) FUN

Hello people :)

So, Thursday night was the final outing for Dark Heresy prior to our switch to EotE. This edition of the "sarky blog" is named at the request of Mr C as it was sort one of those evenings again.
With a pre-prepared map greeting our motley turnout we found ourselves magically transported just down the road , albeit a super twisting lack of decent town planning type one, from Arbite Central. This also included those of us previously on distant ledges or buried under several tons of rock! Accompanying us was Baron No-Ore, Arbite Captain Rottland and a couple of his boys.

Our trip down the brown dirt road was quickly interrupted by large numbers of zombies morphing out of the very rock itself. A number of accompanying Fear checks were failed which left Rob's Arbite a jibber-monkey and Charlie's Tech Priest about to launch himself at whoever was closest to him, Baron No-Ore.

Acting first I stepped up with a Dominate on Charlie to take control of him. Mr C seemed quite pleased by this,....until Charlie "mysteriously" started swinging his chain-axe at No-Ore. Needing less than 25% to hit his initial efforts missed quite badly. However No-Ore and his bodygaurd just let him get on with it preferring to try their best to get eaten by zombies who were tasting an awful lot of lead from Rob's combat shotgun.

Eventually Charlie hit No-Ore in the arm, causing him to drop his sword. Still nobody flinched, not even No-Ore, and carried on throwing themselves at zombies. Flesh wound? With No-Ore still standing Charlie eventually found his mark a second time only to split him in half three ways. Still no-one flinched, except for Mr C.
"You needed No-Ore to complete the mission! What a shame Steve's spoiled everyone's fun!"
Yes, that's right, Bad Steve has spoiled everyone's fun, he's solely responsible for the past 10 minutes?

Pushing on we soon devised a cunning plan for myself and Ryan's Assassin to shortcut our route by securing a rope ladder. Unfortunately that wasn't in scenario and with Watland and his chaps successfully martyring themselves it was backs to the wall all round.

At this point the penny dropped that the zeds were psychically morphing from the walls and that this was the purpose of the psychic bomb attacks. As nice as it is to work these things out its less useful when you couldn't have done anything about it.

 But no matter because Bad Steve has spoiled everyone's fun, he's solely responsible for the past 10 minutes and that's twice now we've been told that we can't win!
To top things off main bad-guy Assad Mor rocked up with Mr C happily giving it plenty of "Bwaa ha haa ha, only Baron No-Ore could kill me and now he's DEAD!! Bwaaa ha haa ha" (he regenerates quicker than Wolverine). Apparently revenge can be served petulantly smug as well as vacuum cold ;)

At this point another penny dropped that the reason Assad is scared of No-Ore is that his Baronial blood (blue?) acts like Kryptonite. Giving it a go I went running for Charlie's freshly blooded Chain-Axe while Ryan legged it for No-Ore's remains to roll his 50 Cal sniper rounds in his gore (despite being fully aware how the law of physics won't help thus one). 

Charging back up the hill it became clear that I had an 8% chance of actually hitting, with a 99% chance of showers of petulant smugness, for the dice to turn up 03........which sent MOST of the table into rapture.....until he passed his Dodge check.......
So Ryan just shot his head off with a gore shot and the zombies collapsed.......

SO,.. sarky blog post completed as is Dark Heresy for now. All good fun and many thanks to Mr C for running things. In the new yer it's my turn :)

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